I'm really tired of all these.

♥

SHIMIN
170194.

Remove and I'll peel off your skin!
Hero: Xuewen.
Host: Blogger
Base codes: xavqior and Stac'ey

Friday, October 30, 2009 ,

7:59 PM

back from camp! i'm so lazy and not in the mood to blog.

cousin's husband passed away, i prayed hard. prayed hard

that both my cousin and her daughter will be fine. i don't believe

JH gor gor will leave them behind. i really don't believe. it's so unfair.

First day of camp.

trekking all the way. tired and perspire like don't know what. Had

chicken for lunch and dinner! ROARS~ hmmm. before the nightwalk,

stayed in tent and rest. hahas! after nightwalk, BED TIME!! :D

Second day of camp.

woke up at 6.20. went toilet and assemble at 7. did simple PT and

went for morning jog. after that, had breakfast, then do the counting

of distance. roars~ Instructor Alex came and disturb me. i was the last

and, hahas!! very funny la. lols. after that, had lunch and went kayakking.

roars! stupid van, came so late. only kayak for less than an hour lo.

bathing time was pathetic lo. haiz. washed hair outside cubicle,

shared cubicle with Eunice and i went out naked and wear clothes.

pathetic right?? roars~~ and okay, i'm kinda burnt. skin very pain.

tsk tsk. after kayakking, free time! i slept till dinner time. after dinner,

BBQ~ after BBQ, performance, and BED TIME~ i knocked out

within 2 mins?? lols.

Last day of camp.

Area cleaning, packed up and headed back to HY!

got back report book. okay, results seriously suck.

gona buck up le. headed home wiht Jiaen after that.

bath and went IMM to meet Adela, Millie and Nicholas.

had lunch, walked around and went home. was super tired,

slept on bus. hahas. no guitar lesson for next 3 weeks,

gona practise super hard for the solo. roars~

okay, i'm so tired... i'm going to sleep till afternoon tomorrow. (:

no alarm! :D

manage to sort out my thinking during the camp.

he's leaving soon, chances of meeting again is only

lesser than the chances of meeting a fairy. tsk tsk.

letting go is the best i can do for him.

goodbye, my love.

Monday, October 26, 2009 ,

5:07 PM

Ms Phang's birthday today! :D hmmm.. went to buy birthday

cake during Maths Trial. celebrated after school.okays,

is suay de lo. kena caught by DM. my bands have to cut away.

Jiaen's also. roars~

hmm.. going Pula Ubin for s3 camp on wed, back on fri:D

you're such a jerk.

Sunday, October 25, 2009 ,

12:26 AM

results was horrible. yet to get back report book.

but cleared Sec 3, up to Sec 4 next year.

for hell sake, results are not everything, ass.

i might be like her, getting good results all the time.

but seriously, are you blind? i dare to say i worked

hard, i really studied very hard as compared to

the past, yet, in your eyes, i just slacked through

exam period. just because my results wasn't up

to your expectations. come on, actions speak

louder than words. you all keep saying don't ask

much from me. as long as i can pass all subjects, you

all will be happy. don't make me laugh till i drop please.

when i pass, you all just complain why i didn't get an A.

just when will you guys know, results is really not everything.

before you even open your shit mouth and scold me, shouldn't

you find out the reason why i had been staying out till night?

it's all because of you!

i hate staying in the same roof as you!

i hate seeing you!

i hate the way you look at me!

i hate the way you talk to me!

i hate the way you treat me!

i hate the fact that i actually wanted to stay with you!

i hate the fact that i'm nothing to you!

i hate the fact that no matter how hard i work, you'll never care!

i hate the fact that you always break my heart!

i hate the fact that you don't love me.

the sight of you rushing down immediately after knowing sis's

sick irritates me.

the sight of you showing so much concern for her annoys me.

the sight of you treating me like a stranger hurts me..

the fact that you treat me like an eyesore seriously break my heart.

yet, i have to act that i'm fine, i'm okay. but i'm not!

it's tiring for me to pretend everything's fine, everything's okay

when nothing is going right, nothing is going fine for me.

but, do you even care?

i really hate this.

so much things left unsaid.

back to the life without him.

without him, i'll still be fine.

Shimin, forget him!!!

you're nothing to him!

just someone who he'll look for when he's bored!

FORGET HIM!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009 ,

9:04 PM

hmm.. woke up at 9plus and found out somehting -.-

went back to sleep at around 11 and slept all the way

till 1. roars~ i'm super duper tired!!! went JP and meet

Keat, Millie, Jasmin and Nicholas,.

went Tori-Q for lunch, went to get Jasmine's present and

we went to school there de BBT shop, slacked and went

JC mac. played poker there and kena chased out. lol.

went to the nearby playground and slack instead.

after that, went to Teh Tarik there de playground and

came up with all sorts of stupid ideas. hahas.

and yupp, went home after that..

school tomorrow. ROARS~

things are no longer the same btw us.

things had changed and i wish, we could

talk about it.

Monday, October 19, 2009 ,

10:34 PM

STUPID MILLELEE made me and Nicholas so mad! ROARS~
got a new pairs of sandals for free? lols.
so addicted to basketball(arcade one) hahas!
my dear MILLELEE, next time not feeling well must tell me!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAREST SEAK DAI HENG!:D

不管有多难过，都不能说出口。

不管有多喜欢，都不能说出口。

我要的诗永远，是全心全意，你给不了。

如果可以，我希望，你会永远从我的生活消失。

为什么我爱的是你？

Sunday, October 18, 2009 ,

9:12 PM

hmmm.. holiday all the way till wednesday.

great that i had already made plans:D

Tampines with Nicholas and MILLIE tomorrow,

Sentosa on tuesday! woohoo~ Wednesday will

be a GODLY day. lols.

hmmm... should i close my blog? also nothing

to blog about le. ROARS~ sian sian sian~

为什么要搞乱我的生活！

为什么忘不了你？

Friday, October 16, 2009 ,

10:05 PM

wednesady was the last day of EOY,

iluma for movie with daiheng.

after that, went science centre meet MILLIE and my ALPHA:D

went BBT shop with Millie, went home with kahao and went JP

meet brother.

went vivo with SB and watch The Deadly Tsunami. super

nice show!:D love it! went Wisma meet ms phang and went home.

reached home, bath, and went da jie house!:D

ZOO! NICE AND COOL~ after that, went je meet kahao and went

home together. okay. that;s all.i'm damn tried now.... mentally and physically.

i hate coming home. so,

i had been trying to stay out

from home.

Monday, October 12, 2009 ,

4:39 PM

1 more paper to go.
all papers were horrible.
tsk tsk.

i wish,i can forget you.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009 ,

10:41 PM

the burning candle has died.

the love between them is really over.

the people made me fed up.

their laughters made me mad.

her tears made me cry.

her tears hurt me deeply.

her sadness, her pain, is what i cannot really understand.

for her, i'm willingly to be the bad guy.

for her, i can't say how i really feels.

for her, i told plenty of lies.

so many that my lies are drowning me.

so many, so many, so many...

mummy, i rather i'm the one going through all those pain.

why don't he love you?

i'm fine with him not loving me, for i'm use to it.

but, why you too? i'm sorry i'm unable to do anything for you.

but today, i'm sorry for not staying strong.

i really cannot take it anymore..

i was mentally prepared, but, things aren't that simple.

i thought i'm fine with me, but i'm wrong.

i'm someone with feelings and emotions.

i'm not a robot, i know what is going on.

yes, i'm not happy, i'm really very very upset!

but, what can i do?

i lost, really feeling very lost.

i'm taking papers on thursday, why is everything

happening now?? all these are making me break down.

i can't focus, i can't concentrate. i don;t know what to do.

i really hate the way things are now.

can i turn back the time?

if i can choose, i rather not be the strong and brave one.

because everyone's thinking i'm strong and brave, therefore

i can go through everything and anything. but, it's not true.

if it is possible, can i not be the strong and brave shimin?

can i show my true-self? can i show everyone how i really am?

tired of everything, tired of life, tired of being the pillar for them.

i need a pillar too..

i'm just a 15 year old girl.....

因为这个家，我笑了。

但是因为这个家，我也哭了。。

Friday, October 2, 2009 ,

10:08 PM

2 more papers down.

7 more to go..

images of you keep appearing.

Thursday, October 1, 2009 ,

3:48 PM

2 papers down, 9 more to go!

i'm having a mixed feelings..

too many flashbacks,

starting to regret.

♥
xo. SHIMIN 170194. Gone. September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 Thankew. Remove and I'll peel off your skin! Hero: Xuewen. Host: Blogger Base codes: xavqior and Stac'ey	Friday, October 30, 2009 , 7:59 PM back from camp! i'm so lazy and not in the mood to blog. cousin's husband passed away, i prayed hard. prayed hard that both my cousin and her daughter will be fine. i don't believe JH gor gor will leave them behind. i really don't believe. it's so unfair. First day of camp. trekking all the way. tired and perspire like don't know what. Had chicken for lunch and dinner! ROARS~ hmmm. before the nightwalk, stayed in tent and rest. hahas! after nightwalk, BED TIME!! :D Second day of camp. woke up at 6.20. went toilet and assemble at 7. did simple PT and went for morning jog. after that, had breakfast, then do the counting of distance. roars~ Instructor Alex came and disturb me. i was the last and, hahas!! very funny la. lols. after that, had lunch and went kayakking. roars! stupid van, came so late. only kayak for less than an hour lo. bathing time was pathetic lo. haiz. washed hair outside cubicle, shared cubicle with Eunice and i went out naked and wear clothes. pathetic right?? roars~~ and okay, i'm kinda burnt. skin very pain. tsk tsk. after kayakking, free time! i slept till dinner time. after dinner, BBQ~ after BBQ, performance, and BED TIME~ i knocked out within 2 mins?? lols. Last day of camp. Area cleaning, packed up and headed back to HY! got back report book. okay, results seriously suck. gona buck up le. headed home wiht Jiaen after that. bath and went IMM to meet Adela, Millie and Nicholas. had lunch, walked around and went home. was super tired, slept on bus. hahas. no guitar lesson for next 3 weeks, gona practise super hard for the solo. roars~ okay, i'm so tired... i'm going to sleep till afternoon tomorrow. (: no alarm! :D manage to sort out my thinking during the camp. he's leaving soon, chances of meeting again is only lesser than the chances of meeting a fairy. tsk tsk. letting go is the best i can do for him. goodbye, my love. Monday, October 26, 2009 , 5:07 PM Ms Phang's birthday today! :D hmmm.. went to buy birthday cake during Maths Trial. celebrated after school.okays, is suay de lo. kena caught by DM. my bands have to cut away. Jiaen's also. roars~ hmm.. going Pula Ubin for s3 camp on wed, back on fri:D you're such a jerk. Sunday, October 25, 2009 , 12:26 AM results was horrible. yet to get back report book. but cleared Sec 3, up to Sec 4 next year. for hell sake, results are not everything, ass. i might be like her, getting good results all the time. but seriously, are you blind? i dare to say i worked hard, i really studied very hard as compared to the past, yet, in your eyes, i just slacked through exam period. just because my results wasn't up to your expectations. come on, actions speak louder than words. you all keep saying don't ask much from me. as long as i can pass all subjects, you all will be happy. don't make me laugh till i drop please. when i pass, you all just complain why i didn't get an A. just when will you guys know, results is really not everything. before you even open your shit mouth and scold me, shouldn't you find out the reason why i had been staying out till night? it's all because of you! i hate staying in the same roof as you! i hate seeing you! i hate the way you look at me! i hate the way you talk to me! i hate the way you treat me! i hate the fact that i actually wanted to stay with you! i hate the fact that i'm nothing to you! i hate the fact that no matter how hard i work, you'll never care! i hate the fact that you always break my heart! i hate the fact that you don't love me. the sight of you rushing down immediately after knowing sis's sick irritates me. the sight of you showing so much concern for her annoys me. the sight of you treating me like a stranger hurts me.. the fact that you treat me like an eyesore seriously break my heart. yet, i have to act that i'm fine, i'm okay. but i'm not! it's tiring for me to pretend everything's fine, everything's okay when nothing is going right, nothing is going fine for me. but, do you even care? i really hate this. so much things left unsaid. back to the life without him. without him, i'll still be fine. Shimin, forget him!!! you're nothing to him! just someone who he'll look for when he's bored! FORGET HIM! Tuesday, October 20, 2009 , 9:04 PM hmm.. woke up at 9plus and found out somehting -.- went back to sleep at around 11 and slept all the way till 1. roars~ i'm super duper tired!!! went JP and meet Keat, Millie, Jasmin and Nicholas,. went Tori-Q for lunch, went to get Jasmine's present and we went to school there de BBT shop, slacked and went JC mac. played poker there and kena chased out. lol. went to the nearby playground and slack instead. after that, went to Teh Tarik there de playground and came up with all sorts of stupid ideas. hahas. and yupp, went home after that.. school tomorrow. ROARS~ things are no longer the same btw us. things had changed and i wish, we could talk about it. Monday, October 19, 2009 , 10:34 PM STUPID MILLELEE made me and Nicholas so mad! ROARS~ got a new pairs of sandals for free? lols. so addicted to basketball(arcade one) hahas! my dear MILLELEE, next time not feeling well must tell me! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAREST SEAK DAI HENG!:D 不管有多难过，都不能说出口。不管有多喜欢，都不能说出口。我要的诗永远，是全心全意，你给不了。如果可以，我希望，你会永远从我的生活消失。为什么我爱的是你？ Sunday, October 18, 2009 , 9:12 PM hmmm.. holiday all the way till wednesday. great that i had already made plans:D Tampines with Nicholas and MILLIE tomorrow, Sentosa on tuesday! woohoo~ Wednesday will be a GODLY day. lols. hmmm... should i close my blog? also nothing to blog about le. ROARS~ sian sian sian~ 为什么要搞乱我的生活！为什么忘不了你？ Friday, October 16, 2009 , 10:05 PM wednesady was the last day of EOY, iluma for movie with daiheng. after that, went science centre meet MILLIE and my ALPHA:D went BBT shop with Millie, went home with kahao and went JP meet brother. went vivo with SB and watch The Deadly Tsunami. super nice show!:D love it! went Wisma meet ms phang and went home. reached home, bath, and went da jie house!:D ZOO! NICE AND COOL~ after that, went je meet kahao and went home together. okay. that;s all.i'm damn tried now.... mentally and physically. i hate coming home. so, i had been trying to stay out from home. Monday, October 12, 2009 , 4:39 PM 1 more paper to go. all papers were horrible. tsk tsk. i wish,i can forget you. Tuesday, October 6, 2009 , 10:41 PM the burning candle has died. the love between them is really over. the people made me fed up. their laughters made me mad. her tears made me cry. her tears hurt me deeply. her sadness, her pain, is what i cannot really understand. for her, i'm willingly to be the bad guy. for her, i can't say how i really feels. for her, i told plenty of lies. so many that my lies are drowning me. so many, so many, so many... mummy, i rather i'm the one going through all those pain. why don't he love you? i'm fine with him not loving me, for i'm use to it. but, why you too? i'm sorry i'm unable to do anything for you. but today, i'm sorry for not staying strong. i really cannot take it anymore.. i was mentally prepared, but, things aren't that simple. i thought i'm fine with me, but i'm wrong. i'm someone with feelings and emotions. i'm not a robot, i know what is going on. yes, i'm not happy, i'm really very very upset! but, what can i do? i lost, really feeling very lost. i'm taking papers on thursday, why is everything happening now?? all these are making me break down. i can't focus, i can't concentrate. i don;t know what to do. i really hate the way things are now. can i turn back the time? if i can choose, i rather not be the strong and brave one. because everyone's thinking i'm strong and brave, therefore i can go through everything and anything. but, it's not true. if it is possible, can i not be the strong and brave shimin? can i show my true-self? can i show everyone how i really am? tired of everything, tired of life, tired of being the pillar for them. i need a pillar too.. i'm just a 15 year old girl..... 因为这个家，我笑了。但是因为这个家，我也哭了。。 Friday, October 2, 2009 , 10:08 PM 2 more papers down. 7 more to go.. images of you keep appearing. Thursday, October 1, 2009 , 3:48 PM 2 papers down, 9 more to go! i'm having a mixed feelings.. too many flashbacks, starting to regret.