SHIMIN
170194.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
,
4:55 PM
i no longer have the rights...
you're in a very close with her from what i can
see.. small little things like this...
hurts me like hell...
i just coudn't stop crying...
该怎么做，你才会回到我身边？
没有你的第四天。。
把爱留在身边 窗外有个蓝蓝的天
落叶那一瞬间记得 多穿一件
一天过了一天 我的日记却病恹恹
我们隔得太远太远
多喜欢你从来不会说
多在乎你到底懂不懂
你有没有对我一点点心动
爱我的话 给我回答
我的爱丫爱丫没时差
等待是我为你付出的代价
爱我的话 要回答
我只等你等你一句话
走太远 你走太远 你的回答 听不见
一天过了一天 我的日记却病恹恹
我们隔得太远太远
多喜欢你从来不会说
多在乎你到底懂不懂
你有没有对我一点点心动
爱我的话 给我回答
我的爱丫爱丫没时差
等待是我为你付出的代价
爱我的话 要回答
我只等你等你一句话
走太远 你走太远 你的回答 听不见
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
,
6:26 PM
the song, it's for you.. or rather somehow, it's somehow
about us. i've nothing much to say though...
cause no matter what i say, it's of no use..
tsk tsk...
不过，我真的很想你。。
真的很希望你还在我身边。。
i have no intention of giving up.
i have no intention to fang xia ni..
i'll not stoping loving you though i know
you have the intention to...
but please... don't fang xia wo..
don't give up, don't stop loving me...
give me one last chance..
iloveyou.
BY2-我知道
从来没想过
不能再和你前手
委屈时候没有你
一切都是我
太过骄
以为你会懂
一直忘了说
我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽让放开的理由
我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后
还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时
闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过
曾经完幸福的梦
在脑海里头
我多希望你
还在我左右
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
,
5:02 PM
i didn't want to break down in school..
but, i couldn't control anymore....
my partner cried and cried too..
it's just too tough and hard for me to accept all this..
all of the sudden, it's just friends we can be..
too hard, too tough....
Ms Phang talked to me before HCL lesson...
i know no point crying.. but, i couldn't control myself..
i don't know what i can do to make myself feel better..
there's another way to make myself feel better..
i almost did that last night. but i know, it will cause a chaos
if i do that.. i'll be send for the OPAL thingy again..
and because he came into my mind that stopped me from
doing that.. but i'm not sure hiw long i can stop myself...
i need you.. but i have to let you go..
please don't every say sorry to me.. because i don't want
your sorry...
from today onwards, i'll learn to treat you as my very best
friend.. just like what you said.. i love you dear.. for the last time..
Monday, April 27, 2009
,
7:15 PM
i remember putting on a mask before going out of the house..
but somehow, my mask's gone... for so many times, i hold my tears back..
for so many times, i tell myself, not to think about it. i
mange to hold back my tears, i fake a smile, i fake a laugh..
but, it's hurting inside. i'm not sure how long i can maintain this way..
this happened 7months ago...
but this time, it hurts real deep.
i was still able to laugh, talk, eat like a human 7months ago after that incident.
but this time round, i can't. i talked less than 10words in a sentence.
i speaked less than 15sentence for the whole day.
all the smiles and laughter, all are fake. i just keep putting food into my mouth..
not really eating.. just for the sake to let others think that i'm fine..
i force myself to.... it's hard, it's tiring, but i have to do that to hide the real me.
i hide my fear.. fear of being alone.
there won't be anyone holding on to my hands in the crowd anymore..
there won't be anyone there to encourage me...
there won't be anyone there to comfort me when i'm really feeling down.
there won't be anyone sending me home.
there won't be anyone giving me a hug just to let me know, i miss you...
失去了才发现你有多好...
you wanted me to promise to keep in contact with you. i promised
and you said you really don't want lose contact. but, you aren't
texting me. when i text you, your reply was short.. really very short.
and this really hurts me alot, alot..
i had been waiting for your messages. my phone never leave my side.
just in case, you text me.. i waited for more than 5 hours.. not a single one..
i received so many messages.. but none are from you..
i thought i'll at least still be someone special, but i'm wrong.
i'm just a normal friend to you now.. or maybe even worst, a stranger,
or even a mistake. we agreed on being the best of friend. but i just
rememebered, there's only 1 best friend for everyone and that person
is not me and will never be me. Jason will always be your best friend.
i'm just... nobody...
i guess, what WL said was right...
loving someone doesn't means you must have that person.
as long as the one you love is happy, maybe letting go is
the best choice for that person... no matter how much i don't want
to let you go, for you, i turn my back around, let go of you, then dashed
away.. for i'm afraid you might see my tears...
就算有多不愿意，还是放你走了。。
因为爱你，所以必须让你开心。
只要你开心，什么都可以. 要我从此不再出现，也可以。。
time time round, you're really gone...
i look at the scar on the wrist...
it was caused by him after he left me.
i'm hoping.. there won't be another...
i'm hoping, i will be able to get use to my new life.
but, i fell sick on the very first day of my new life.
slight asthma in the morning, fever now..
Pathetic.
i thought that you still love me.
i thought that you still care for me.
i thought that i still stands a place in your heart.
but, i'm just lying to myself..
you're treating me so coldly now..
and this hurts.....
slight asthma in the morning and running fever now.
tsk tsk. pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
Shimin, you're so pathetic!
you torn my heart apart..
it's bleeding, it's crying...
and you left me tearing...
why did you leave me?
why can't we start all over again?
why did we even end up this way?
people say, Love makes the world go round...
but why is it that Love is turning my world upside down?
i miss you....
i really miss you alot....
zhen de bu ke yi cong xin zai lai ma??
hao na guo.. cong lai mei zhe me nan guo...
maybe, love doesn't even exist...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
,
5:38 PM
Words ae not meant to be hurtful...
Use it to say I love you...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
that's when you hurt me with your words.
全世界都停了电 - Tank
连你都会残忍隔绝
我的心能要谁了解
眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭为何把我推向边缘
被砸坏了的一切
卡住了我让我无法往前囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间
单独隔离寂寞地盘旋全世界都停了电
全世界都封了街我所有窗子外面被贴上黑夜
我呐喊思念却没人听见绝望到极点剩的是疲倦全世界都停了电
全世界白雪满天才发觉在我心间有回忆碎片
一作梦翻身
就刺痛流血我卷着身体缩成一个圈像一个句点连你都会残忍隔绝
我的心能要谁了解
眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭
为何把我推向边缘
被砸坏了的一切
卡住了我让我无法往前囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间
单独隔离寂寞地盘旋全世界都停了电
全世界都封了街我所有窗子外面被贴上黑夜
我呐喊思念却没人听见绝望到极点剩的是疲倦全世界都停了电
全世界白雪满天才发觉在我心间有回忆碎片
一作梦翻身
就刺痛流血我卷着身体缩成一个圈像一个句点
Saturday, April 25, 2009
,
1:58 PM
will be real busy starting for next week..
won't be blogging till like after mid year?
tsk tsk..
BUSY, BUSY BUSY...
Friday, April 24, 2009
,
4:59 PM
hmmm.. HCL paper today.. paper 1 still not bad..
Paper 2 was like.. GODLY! quite hard sia. Zzz..
godly.. i doubt i can do well.. Zzz.. Mr.SYL set till
so hard. Zzz... he's out to kill us. tsk tsk.
suppose to have SS lesson after paper de, but Ms.
LWF cancelled the lesson and postpone to Tuesday,
2.15 to lastest arond 5? Zzz.. sian la!!! now no choice
must have tuition tomorrow le.. was planning to go swimming
from 12 to like 3 or 4 lor. confirm will become very tan cause
nowadays de weather is hot like hell. Zzz.. can set people
burning. lols.. hmmm.. went JP with Adela, Jiaen & Lifang.
went Mac for lunch. talked about our parents, school, classmates.
hahas! funny sia. after that, me, Jiaen & Adela went Yogurt Place
while lifang went home. cause the ice-cream got offer so me and Jiaen
bought it. hahas. walked around JP, talked about stuff and home-d.
hmm.. guitar lesson, tuition and hopefully swimming tomorrow..
Guys.. Pathetic..
{Edited}you torn my heart apart..
you totally ruined me...
you totally broke my heart.
my heart is bleeding, my heart is crying
and i'm tearing...
you said you'll never be like him, but you went back
on your words. you dumped me just like him.
you left me all alone.
you killed me eventually... when you said,
"Let's break up ba...", words cut through my
heart and my heart is totally broken..
i'm lost. and i guess, i'll never be back.
i don't know what to reply you. i don't know what
to say. you made me totally speechless.
because i never thought you will think of breaking up.
i said let's break is because you alreay had the
thought of breaking up. so what for forcing you
to pretend to love me, to pretend to be my boyf
when you already don't have the heart to do
so?
i don't know how my life will be without you.
but for one thing i'm sure...
i'm no longer me when you left me....
离开我就是你所为的爱我吗？
pathetic. i'm still lying to myself you still love me.
SHI MIN! YOU'RE SO PATHETIC!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
,
5:03 PM
累了...真的累了..
i've got my Cert.. that means, no more shaking of school
president's hand. T.T hahas! wei lun and ying chong commented
on my statue.. so funny la. hahas!
nothing much though. hahas. wei lun said what's up to me during
recess.. hahas! godly~! i think i'm starting to admire him like an idol.
xD lols.. hmmm.. maths test tomorrow.. i will jiayou de..
DO TAKE A LOOK!:)
http://guesswat-clothesandfashion.blogspot.com/
should i?
maybe, it's time to put a full stop.
Monday, April 20, 2009
,
7:00 PM
Shimin is a happy girl today because...
-She pass the A maths test whereby only 7 people pass in her class..
-She scored FULL MARKS for the E maths paper, though it's an easy paper,
but only 3 ppl scored full mark! (not hao lian-ing arhs..)
-She's happy with her 5 stations' result...
Sit ups- 45
Board Jump-171
sit & reach- 40
incline- 18
shutter run- 11.4s
- She shook her school's President's hand today!!!
- She went home with Kenneth & Jengila and had loads of fun!
Thanks Kenneth for the drink=)
Sis treat me dinner and BBT for my good work:)
Rehearsal tomorrow again. lols..
i'm off for dinner.. lalala~!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
,
7:17 PM
meet Dai heng 10 at Bedok.. i wasn't late.. i reached there
right on time. went ECP and walked around. had Subway as
our brunch and continued walking.. after that, went Parkway..
went to get gor's birthday card.. hahas..
after that, took bus to simei and took MRT to pionner and meet
Sis at entrance and went swimming.godly. took a long time to find
a locker. Zzz.. shoulder abit burnt. going sentosa after mid-year
to get more tan! wahaha!
after swimming, buy dinner home and gor came over to take his
birthday card. lols.. school tomorrow.. 5 stations tomorrow..
rehearsal tomorrow. Zzz.. it will be a long day tomorrow...
累了...真的累了...
some say, it's time to give up.. it's time to let go.
some say, don't give me. it might not happen.
what should i do? tsk tsk...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
,
3:53 PM
small little actions of yours showed everything..
things are really no longer the same anymore...
you've hurt me over and over again.
i wonder how long i can take it...
maybe, i should let go of you and let you make a
decision again. poly life... that's when you get to
know a whole lot more people.. especially girls.
you might even find a better, more suitable for you...
i'm ready to hear that from you.
i've collected my feelings and will be able to accept it
when you say it out........
i'm already prepared for the worst...
Friday, April 17, 2009
,
8:05 PM
i'm physically tired.. worn out. Zzz... and that junior made me
loss my cool! Zzz.. training started off with 2.4 run and i seriously
don't know what's wrong with him.. he don't want let me over take him
and he actually pushed me away when i'm near him. not once, not twice,
but a few times lor. roars~! and YES! i'm fed up with his attitude.
and he actually lied to lai fu and hai another guy got scolded by
lai fu lor. wth!
honestly, i like the guy's captain:) KK's taking over Mario.. Mario old liao,
stepping down le. hahas. hmmm.. hope me and KK will be able to work
well together. lols. another problematic junior. but i don't wana say her first.
still observing. tsk tsk.. Sec 1s.. will they please grow up and stop acting like
they are in pri 1? i guess, it's going to be a hard time disciplining them. tsk tsk.
hmmm.. went JP meet sister and shimin for dinner. lols. shimin is my sis's friend.
hahas! after that, me and sis walked home. lols. damn tiring la. zz.. i need a rest.
i seriously need a good rest..
guitar lesson tomorrow from 1030 to 1130.. nephew Chapman coming over tomorrow!
weeS~! that also mean no peace at home. lols. will take many photo of my dearest nephew!
hahas.. wanted to go swimming tomorrow but gor's working afternoon shift. Zzz..
sad.
Sports Day yesterday. meet Adela and Amelia and took 198 to Clementi Stadium.
boring. did some maths, slacked. after that, went Sumo House had lunch and went
JP watch 17 again with Cherubim, Jasmin, Eunice and Jiaen. lols. hmmm.. i think
the movie is nice because of Zac.. he's damn handsome la! but the story line very
expected lor. Zzz.. just like the movive, "Click". lols. went home after the movie:D
I GOT MY PHONE BACK! I'VE GOT MORE THAN 20 MESSAGES. lols.
shimin is somehow lost....
shimin's upset.. because he's always adding new friends in FB!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
,
3:42 PM
one whole day without my phone. tsk tsk.. two more days.
pig's off to poly camp. zzz...
nothing much though. E maths common test was easy. hopefully
can get at least 30 out of 35. or maybe even more. =x.
chem test was O.o! i seriously don't understand chapter 4. tsk tsk.
i miss him alot.. i don;t know why. it's weird not being able to contact
him..是我太依赖你了吗？
i miss you!
i miss you!
i miss you!
T.T
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
,
6:38 PM
It's 14 April!! :D Happy 2months!
hmmm... conclude my day.
phone was confiscated by LWF and she said get it from
from her after school. asked sq to help me sms wilson to
tell Dai my phone was confiscated. thanks alot for the help.
went find LWF but she say friday then return. wth. adults always
talk like roti prata. lend phone from Vanessa and gave a call to
dear. told him my phone can;t get back and i'll heading down
to westmall now.
my ODM watch suddenly went back time! went back to june 2008,5plus.
Zzz.. watched Handsome Suit.. nice movie la!! damn funny. dear dropped his
phone but a girl thought she dropped her phone then her boyfriend helped
her look for it. me and dear were laughing. lols.
after movie, walked around and headed home.
is it a good or bad day for me?
came online and chat with him..
feeling so much better...
was thinking, how long will i be able to hold on to his hands?
i wish, i hope, it's till the end...
don't leave me, don't hurt me..
at least, not now. i need you by my side badly..
iloveyou,mydear..
Saturday, April 11, 2009
,
3:37 PM
hmm.. gor came over last night and watched the horror show together
with me and sis.. slept at 2 and woke up 9am. wahaha! early rite?
wake up, slack, btah complete Bio ws and went JP with mum.
hmmm... bought new school shoes.. wanted to get Kappa de..
but kappa de don't have orange base. Zzz..
i settled with Northstar black base. wahaha! confirm can lst for 1year.
XD hmmm... maybe having dinner with da jie they all:)
that pig's off to malaysia ever since morning. lols.
CHEMISTRY IS DRIVING ME NUTS!T.T
Thursday, April 9, 2009
,
6:29 PM
woahs~! Good Friday tomorrow! wahaha~! long week end.
lalala~! but need to start revising for Mid-year le. tsk tsk.
paper 1 are end of this month. tsk tsk. JIAYOU!!
I WALKED HOME TODAY!! lols. from boon lay interchange
back home. hahas. meet Dai at jp for lunch and pei
him go buy his bag. cause i got Zinc member card. lols.
i helped him SAVED 5BUCKS hors. XD but he treat me
ice cream. hahas!
aftet that, we walked to Pioneer Mrt station while i walked
home:) mum not coming home tonight. she's staying over
at da jie's house. sis went swimming, dad not home yet.
i'm alone at home. tsk tsk.
i'm falling sick again. TSK TSK!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
,
6:36 PM
i mean it when i said i didn't want things to turn out this way.
i mean it when i said you've changed.
i mean it when i said i could feel the difference.
i mean it when i said i could feel the gap between us.
i mean it when i said i could feel someone else in there.
i mean it when i said i could feel that place no longer belong to me.
i mean it when i said i can't feel you anymore.
i mean it when i said i wanted you real back badly..
but do you care????
you seems perfectly fine the next morning.
i'm not sure if it's just an act or you really don't
care.. what do you mean when you said
you don't know you can do anymore?
i know this kind of relationship wasn't what you
wanted and wasn't what you thought it would be.
same here.. i'm tired of this kind of relationship..
i went through once before and i know how hurting,
painful it is.you never experience this before, can you
really understand how i feel? can you really understand
why am i being so sensitive? can you really understand
why i'm always complaining??
never had i wanted to complain anything. but once i said
something out, that means, i really cannot take it anymore.
i don't want apologies, i don't want regrets. i just want you to
learn and to understand. you reminded me of him....
you never said you want me back after the first break up.
yet, i was the one who wanted you to be back. if you had said
you don't wish to break up, you don't wish to lose me, i would have
said, "i'm sorry, i let matters and feelings took over me. i take back my
words." but you didn't, you said you'll respect my decision.
this made me think of you wanting her to be back for the next whole
of 3 months after she left you. but when i left you, you didn't said a word.
that was what hurts the most. after that day, i had been crying to sleep.
it's not easy to pretend nothing had happened. i admit i've hurt you when i
wanted to break up, but i've learnt my lesson and i'll never hurt you again.
but you hurt me over and over again, that's why you don't understand truely
when i said, "what if loving you hurts?" yesterday night.
lastly, i mean it when i said, i love you, my dear....
7moredays to our second month. will we last?
you no longer say you wish to meet up with me.
you no longer say you miss me..
it's just like how he treated me...
And, this hurts alot...
Saturday, April 4, 2009
,
3:59 PM
i manage to wake up at 3am!! wahaha!! tired like shit..
dad lent a lorry from one of my aunt and we took the lorry
to bai ji ah gong. lols. wind was blowing so damn fierce. =x
very cold sia.
hmm.. everything was done around 6plus. went to had breakfast
and made a trip to ah ma house and home-d after that. had a bath,
dry my hair and slept! weeS~! slept till 2. heehees..
guitar lesson tomorrow.ZZzz.. die liao la. tsk tsk. hmmm. i think i'm
stopping real soon. tsk tsk.. i'm still feeling tired. Zzz..
hoping things to be even better :D
Friday, April 3, 2009
,
7:34 PM
i just survived from the HELL training. Zzz.. ISH was being taken up
so we had physical training for the while of 2hrs. zzz. started off with
3 rounds around the school, we did exercises that was seriously
hell. and ended off with a run again. Zzz.
i'm half dead. i'm so tired.. waking up at 3AM tomorrow..
hopefully i can wake up. Zzz
some part of me is thinking about you.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
,
5:16 PM
didn't manage to go for a run yesterday. it was raining
like shit. tsk tsk.. nevermind. hopefully, tomorrow will have
a trial run again. lols.
hmm.. i'm still aching all over because of the tug-of-war..
Zzz. had been walking slowly and a big problem with using
strength. Zzz..
SS test tomorrow. i will study for it.
Shimin is determined to jian fei!!! lols.
it doesn't matter to me anymore.
those few mornings, you gave me cold shoulders
and talked to me so unwillingly.
i won't die without you. i still have other friends.
i won't die without you. i still have other friends.
i won't beg you to treat me better.. there's isn't a need.
i'm better off without you...
that day, you went because of them. not because i'm
going too. it's obvious. you gave me cold shoulders and seriously,
your attitude sucks.
3years... but because you're in e2 together with her,
while i'm the only one in e5, everything changed.
but, i'm living my life to the fullest!
:D
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
,
2:57 PM
it's April fool! tsk tsk, what a day. Zzzz..
i really did studied like a nerd yesterday for today's
Bio test. but somehow, i don't think i'll score well for
the test. tsk tsk.
mid year's coming real soon. end of this month is papers 1 le.
Zzz.. next monday is the 2.4 run. i know it's abit last min. but, i'm going
for a run later and hopefully, on sat. ZZZ....
things are never good at home....
but still, i'm happy with my life..
for i live for myself:)